My life is so messy....

Recently, I am so tired and my life is totally different compared to poly life.. At least during poly life, life is not as messy as now.. Everytime after my sch lesson, I will have a nap first in the afternoon, then go to work... But this few days, I slept until 7 plus and didnt go for work.. End up I cant sleep well at night... Wanna study and revise my sch work, but only use up 1/4 day, cos most of the time is sleeping in the afternoon. Knowing that if i continue doing this, I wont be sleeping well in night, and also make me more tired.. ARGZ.. But really BTH of the life now, really damm tired...

Besides, my Da Jing Pao come back liao, now more worst.. more bigger liao.. making me this few days so unwell.. sometimes feeling that got thing around my neck, and unable to breathe that well.. ARGZ.. a bit pain too... Hai~ Most of the time got this feeling: Before become a gd doctor, now is a very jialat patient.. If own self got so many illness, how to become a gd doctor to save other ppl.. Really abit Hui Xing, and so siansation... Maybe too stress liao, thus the illness come back.. Really too stress now compared to poly life.. Really miss the poly life, last min study also can, now.. Hai~ Cant ar...

Today is my father 100 days, but morning need to go sch.. Cant go to Guang Ming Shan to pray.. Times really fly fast.. Till now most of the time still think of my dad.. how I wish he still alive.. when I watch the show in U channel, focus on why youngster choose to leave the house.. Then i think of dad.. I also Li Jia Chu Zou when I was in sec 2, and even think of sucide, but saw him and mum so worry for me, he didnt scold me, but sayang me... And also during age 19 when I cut my hand, he as a taxi driver heard abt my thing from my mum, cos she call him, he immediately rush back to home from town area.. Like the show, it is very hard for a father to say sorry to their children, my dad last time wont say sorry to us even if he got wrong, but only last year, he start to say sorry.. But for my Zhui Sheng De Ying Xiang is before he past away, that was a week or more before, during the night, he ask me to make properly the sofa for him to sit... that time he already dont have a leg, so he cant do himself and ask for my help, so i turn the sofa here and there, but still not wat he want.. I really so Pei Chei, and show a bit of attitude.. then he no choice, he come over, and make the position of the sofa.. then he say Shi Papa De Chuo, Bu Hui Jiang.. Since that time till now, I really feel Chan Kui and really bad, and I am the one should say sorry, cos I am too impatient.. When go for lesson, especially study on the bones one, I will immediately think of him, when read the San Shi Ying Guo Jing, I also think of him, when watch tv, also think of him, when go to religion, when they say must treat well your parent if they still alive, i also will think of him, and also when I see those without a leg in the street, or sit on the wheel chair, I also will think of DAD, I really miss him.. Then this few weeks, I dreamt of him 2 or 3 times liao... No matter in real life or in dream, tear will still be coming out.. mum will sometimes feel that I didnt think of him, cos I didnt tell her what i feel of dad, only tell her I dreamt of dad.. As if i have forgotten him liao.. But to be truth, I didnt forget him, i really miss my dad alot alot, I will only cry alone, even my sis dont even know me crying... ArGz..

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,Daddy!!! How I wish I can still call you DADDY!!!