SUAY YEAR'06

After I study till 1 am, i still left the blood question and the kidney question to go and i planned to start on 3am, thus i go and rest.. But then, I was too tired that i fall asleep... worst till, I awake up at only 9am... The first word from my mouth today was Oh my god, shit.. I know i going to fail the exam liao, cos left one hour can only study a topic... Hai!

3rd paper over liao.. After the exam, I called my mother about tat i going to fail this too, haha.. She laugh, she thought I am lying.. Hm.. at that point of time, I was laughing too, but i mean it... Then when my mother come and fetch me at bukit batok, she say that why am i sad when i was so happy, laughing... and why am i angry when was crying..hm.. When she say tat, my tear is inside my eyes, but din cry out.. I was too sad and disappoint of myself that I really cant show I am crying.. If really compared, I am more hurt on last mon than now... It has made my feeling become so cold, cold until it reach the max limit that now I am not so hurt when knowing that I going to fail the 3rd exam too.. Haha.. I was laughing bec I have continously fail the 3 subject, I couldnt believe it... This is my first time sia...

Since young till poly, even my poly friends know well tat whenever exam come, whatever I study sure comeout, I was so Heng so lucky, but this year, so so so suay, watever I study well, it din come out.. if not i will have pass liao... Argz... Hm.. last time i usually think that the reason why i so lucky is bec I feel and sense that my dear God is always helping me.. But why this time no... Hm.. especially this year i involve alot in my relgion activities, but why my dear lao mu niang din help me leh... Hm.. I didnt not blame my dear god, bec i know that she want me to do even better... This is difference from poly, this is a medical thing, maybe she want be to fully know it then can pass me, right.. I always got this feeling tat, watever i do now, gd or bad one, god always will have their own reason so as to make me more stronger person.. Thanks..

From this exam, I learn tat something especially on that mon, as for exam wise, I cant always depend luck given from god, and I need to be more hardworkingt than before, cos alot of thing really cant control, it is so unexpected especially... Hm.. no matter what, my feeling for now will be far of better than that on last monday... I learnt, learnt so painfully, hurt so painfully... Argz... From now onwards, whatever thing, sad/happy/joy, I will keep down to my heart, I wont need to rely on others, Kao myself.. Haha...but only of some exception...

It has been a week, I rather thing din happen, I dont wish to troubled by it, but is hard not to think.. I have been thinking till now.. No other thing will affect me so much.. No other thing will hurt me so much.. I giveup, giveup on my past thinking, so i think to learn, learn to be more dependance on myself.. This maybe c so gd, but when times goes by, it might not like wat you think, is somesort fake... I am be very stubborn last time, cos i always think tat it will not change, that y perserve on, but now, knowing that thinking shd always change... cannot always think wat you think it shd be, cos in the end is only lie to ownself...

I WILL CHANGE!!!