Finally Graduate from this 1 year & 8 months of Ren Cai Ban Today.. Very Happy.. It is Omega, but also Alpha.. It seems like we have end our lesson, graduate from it, but is also the beginning of our new chapter.. Hm.. whatever task given, just do the best.. this is wat i always believe... Alot of thing need to be learn, and if can liao yuan, then liao yuan.. alot of things still dont know wat to do, like even being a Fu TZ, i also din really know wat to do.. this 10 months, have been busy with exams, studying, really din involve in youth group activities.. hai...
2 weeks from now is my temple 22nd anniverary..["^U^"]...but sadded, is my exam week also.. watever i can do, i will do my best.. jiayou...en...
I am very touched by their words, and support.. REally very appreaciate to them.. Wanna thanks to my FAv Teacher Miss Wong, my Sis, and of cos My Mei Fu... and especially my Mother..
And wanna thanks those friend who have helped me b4.. REally very gan ji..
Wana thank to my Jue De De Zhang, he taught me that in LIfe University, 1 + 1 is not = 1... Perhaps in my own world, 1 + 1 must = 1, thus when i see thing, i strongly believe it must be like this, not like that.. I know i am stubborn, very zhi zuo, cannot think of other way.. he also said that no one can tie u up, make diffculty for u, but is only u yourself who tie urself up, make it difficult one.. I think i need to think in different aspect.. it takes time... he said, we xiu tian dao, so tian zhi dao.. dont worry too much..50% is wat u do, but 50% is god arrange.. just try ur best... jin li er wei le.. but really thanks to De Zhang..
Anyway, still wanna thanks Ting, Wen, Huijun, Yuying.. sorry for troubled u all.. Anyway, now wanna forcus on studying.. Jiayou, my friends for the coming exams..
(Miss wong, really xie xie ni, u are my angel, my movtivator.. I will jiayou, and try my best.. I promise...)
(Sean, my meifu, i am also very very grateful to have so supportive, so understanding meifu.. He said that last time he missed the chance, so he dont wish i same like him will regret.. so he really hope that i wont give up.. but really thanks.. and also i enjoyed every msg we sent.. even though in the end he call me hua da jie, cos i send him a love test sms, and he ask what i have choose.. anyway my ans for that test is easy to have Hun Wai Qing.. hm... anyway is just a test, not real, but he take it so seriously, wanna call me hua da jie le.. hai.. begin to like this meifu alot..but also own him too much.. very nei jiu for his beloved car which i have done.. hai.. anyway very happy that sis and him will be very happiness.. ["^U^"])
Recently damm busy with my tuition assignmensts, sis wedding preparation (giving teachers and family relatives invitation card), and also applying for Nanjing Unviersity, and also rehearsal, performance..
Hai.. Very sad, fed up, unhappy recently.. cos friend dont understand me n din 体谅我.. Mummy also blame me of not accompany her to relatives house, sis also blame me on not helping her much.. ARGZ.. Actually everything I have tried my very best to do everything, whatever i can do, i did spent my time and effort and go for it.. but somehow still... really very fed up that time, call and scold my sis, cos mummy keep nagging me, saying that she has been going around relatvies hse every nite, as it rain during the night, she gan mao le.. she said why no children accompany her.. I really have no time, i doing NJ thing, going teachers there, tution, so I really dont have other time to accompany her..
Then fri, my mum also said me again, cos really dont have time, still have alot invitation cards, how.. I realy feel sian half.. actually i have accompany her once, on monday, then after i hear liao, really argue with her.. really fed up.. I cried this few days, cos i feel that whatever i do is wrong.. whatever my effort, or i have tried my best, is useless... Why they cant put themselves in my shoes.. Hai.. in the end, i cancel my 2 tutions, and accompany her...
I called sis, and i scold my sis again for not accompany mummy, but she also very busy with her other marriage thing.. Bec of this, we also quarrel, saying y so last min, so troublesome, trouble alot of ppl and etc.. then she said dont be sister la.. then i hang up the phone.. really quite angry...
I told my mother if marriage is so troublesome, wanna trouble my family, especially her, and also my friends, i rather not marry...
Sat, more worst, me and sis quarrel again at jp infront of my sec friends.. of cos they are used to it.. cos sis blame me for not helping her to decide the ribbon colour for the car, cos i saw the pic that sean send me, i think is not nice, cos golden colour, but i need to wait for sis to see that, then decide.. but everything quite late, by the time sis saw that, she start to blame me le.. she angry, i also angry.. she said wat kind of sis, din wana decide for her.. then i said u r the one marry, not me, i cant help u decide..
This few days really very unhappy le, bec of this, then i said i am not fit to be her sis.. and i mean it.. really very moodless.. really dont wan be her wedding sisters, and also dont wish to go for the dinner... hai.. but in the end our thing solved le..
Yesterday dinner really in the mess, as we din arrange who will be sitting here and there.. Really sorry to those, as we din arrange properly... And thanks to my teachers and friends for coming to my sis wedding..
Happy to see sis marry le, but also really very se bu de...really cry out during the tea ceremony... but mummy din cry.. me so paiseh, cos unable to control my feeling, quite sad, as she is like leaving away from my life...
And also really very sorry to sean, as when i wanna park his new Toyota car (just brought less than a month), i din see the wall at tianguo, so i Buang on the wall, as a result, so scratches here and there, although is quite minor, i know he will feel quite xin tong one.. REally very sorry and paiseh.. is my careless... my fault.. Sis and sean din blame me, but i still feel very sorry to them.. hai..
Anyway finally finished... going to study for exam le.. cos this few months i really dont have the time.. hai... God help me...
Wed, Raining... Sad day... hen fan.. very stress, no mood.. very sian.. Recently not very happy.. alot of things need to do, no one understand me.. went to sec a few days ago, chat with uncle and auntie who sell drinks at the canteen.. chat for 1 hour till miss wong came down and look for me... we chat alot.. I get her point, I understand why parents will get quite worry for their children, their future...
I am very troubled, I cant get any sercure.. I dont know hows my future life will be.. That auntie said i must listen to my mother words.. I know, maybe they are correct.. I now start to dislike my life.. am i changed, yea, my jie said that.. I wanna be in my past me...
am i wrong... or i really made a wrong choice? shd i give up.. maybe.. going soon.. ??? wat are the things that missing, why i cant find that? something missing in my life.. How... FAN...
I am not happy since past 6 months.. i do not feel any happiness.. I wish i could go back.. I shd listen to my mum? my teachers? my friends? Shd i believe 它... Give up or not?
This few weeks very cold, and also raining, have been riding.. Wholebody very sour pain, especially shoulder, and back.. and also my right and left hand too.. feng shi quite jiao lat.. I think i prefer driving than riding.. even though riding is cool and fun.. yesterday at cck, going back to Jw, at a juntion, my bike almost skipped..cos i look futher down the road, which is green light, but the nearest to me junction is red light, I quickly braked so hard, and i almost lost balance.. Cos ground was wet, raining abit heavy.. from then, dont dare to ride fast during raining day.. must forus and concentrate.. Hai.. pain here and there...
Confucius said: Who can get out of the house except through the door? How is it that men do not know that one cannot
live except through the Way?
Confucius said: A gentleman who only thinks of the comforts of life cannot be a true gentleman.
Confucius said: A gentleman is in search of the Way, not a mere living. Farming sometimes leads to starvation, and sometimes to
official preferment. A gentleman should be solicitous about the Way, not anxious about poverty.
Shakyamuni said: All the sentient beings (masses) have the Buddha Nature.
Shakyamuni said: My eye and treasure of the True Law is the awakening of the mysterious mind.
True form is without form: This is the Subtle Entrance to the Dharma. Independent of words and letters, it is
transmitted outside the scriptures. It now belongs to Mahakasyapa.
Shakyamuni said: If a man should conquer in battle a thousand and a thousand more, and another man should conquer himself,
this would be the greater victory, because the greatest victory is over oneself..
Jesus said: I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. [Luke 18:17]
Jesus said: The Lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
[Mathew 6:22-23]
Jesus said: Make every effort to enter through the NARROW DOOR, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. [Luke 13:24]
Jesus said: I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. [Revelation 22:13]
John said: I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with Fire. [Luke 3:16]
