["^U^"]

Qu Nian De Jin Tian, Shi Wo Meng De 2 M..Wo Men Zai Mac Du Shu, You Shuo You Xiao, Ku Zhong Zuo Le.. Na Shi Wo zhui Sheng Ke De Hui Yi Ba.. Ye Shi Wo zhui Kai Xing De She Hou... Times fly fast.. Anyway, Zhu Ni Kai Xing, Xing Fu.. ["^U^"]

Tired..

Going to fail my PQM test liao... All those that I have remembered one, have gone... Really sudden blank... Really too Hard... Hai~~ Nvm...

Too tired le.. ["^U^"]

Celebrate for Juan's Belated Birthday..

Just came back home after celebrating Juan's belated Birthday with Amy, Sherry, Jiaxi and ShiAn... After having our dinner at JP Foodcourt Center, we went to the nearby playground... Then, we also brought a Ice-cream cake for Juan. We celebrate for her at the HDB block.. I think we are enjoying ba..

After that, we went to an open place near BoonHaw's house.. We played True and Dare game. But only True la.. Even though the main motive of the game is for Amy one, I still kanna asked questions by them as the pen is pointing to me when Amy turn it for the first time, and as for the second time is I turn it one. Hence, everyone has asked me a question.. The most difficult question I have to answer is why break up? By Sherry ar.. But in then end I didn't answer them..

Next, we are tired of turning the pen, then Juan suggest why not asked each one any of the question.. Haha... Then BoonHaw came and we have some chat too. On the way going back to JP interchange, I have chat with Amy alot of thing about her personal thing and also my thing.. I even told her about the secret of mine that have kept for 5 years which I haven't had a chance to tell her. I notice her eyes got tears when I told her all that, and my tears also coming out from my eyes. I know that she will understand me and she also thanks me for telling her that. I feel that I am really fang song le hen duo, there is no more burden for me le... I also thanks her for giving me a chance to tell her.. I really grad...

No matter what, she is still my very best friend. JiaYou Ba, Amy.. ["^U^"]

Extremely Upset!

Just happened a few minutes ago, and this thing makes me so sad, depressed, upset and etc... I don't wish to say out what is the incident all about.. I just feel very hurting..Really hurt.. Can't be expressed out.. Anyway, just think of 2 poems that link to the incident. Is truely from my heart.. Sang Xing...

First Poem: Ni Mei You Xing!!!
I rather don't have heart, so that I won't be in this world!
I rather don't have heart, so that you don't need to work so hard!
I rather don't have heart, so that you don't have to suffer so much!
I rather don't have real heart, since you said that I don't have heart!!!

Second Poem: Hen Kuai De!!
Ni Shuo Hen Kuai De, Shuo De Na Mo Jian Dan!
Ni Shuo Hen Kuai De, Shuo De Na No Duo Chi!
Ni Shuo Hen Kuai De, Wo Zhen De Hen Tao Yan!
Ni Zhai Shuo Hen Kuai De, Wo Hui Deng Ni Zhuo Le, Zhai Zhuo...

Lao Le, Lao Le...

Recently feel that I have becoming very forgetful le... Yesterday also forgot to take my drawing.. When I almost reached home, then I realised I left it at the Mac (JP).. I was so panic, then after called my dad to drive me there. On the way, I keep praying that I will be able to get back. Cos that drawing is so important.. It is my group report (mass transfer practical). If really lost, I really can die liao. Extremely important to me... Luckily, when I reached Jp, I ran all the way to the backdoor, as the frontdoor of the shopping center has closed, and I found my drawing. Thanks God...

Hai~, then today can't wake up. As a result I didn't go to mass transfer lesson. I was very sad that I can't attend. Maybe I am too tired liao... Really getting very old liao... Hai~

The Perfect Wisdom of the Heart Sutra

Just want to share in English version of Xing Jing...

Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, when practicing deeply the Perfect Wisdom clearly saw that all five Skandhas are empty and passed beyond all suffering.

Sariputra, form does not differ from emptiness: Emptiness does not differ from form. Form then is emptiness. Emptiness then is form. Sensation, perception, volition, and consciousness, are also like this.

Sariputra, all Dharmas are marked with emptiness: not born and not dying, not stained and not pure, not gaining and not losing. Therefore, in emptiness there is no form, no sensation, perception, volition or consciousness. No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body or mind; nor form, sound, smell, taste, touch, or Dharmas; no realm of sight 'til we come to no realm of consciousness; no ignorance and no ending of ignorance, 'til we come to no old age and death, and no ending of old age and death. No suffering, origination, extinction, or path. No wisdom, and no attainment, with nothing to attain.

Because the Bodhisattva is the Perfect Wisdom of emptiness, his mind has no hindrance. Having no hindrance, there is no fear and far from all fantasy, he is dwelling in Nirvana.

Because all Buddhas of the three times practice the wisdom of emptiness, they gain complete and perfect enlightenment.

Therefore know, that Perfect Wisdom, is the great holy mantram, the great bright mantram, the wisdom mantram, the unequaled mantram, which can destroy all suffering---truly real and not false. So he gave the Perfect Wisdom mantram, which goes;


Ga te Ga te, Pa ra Ga te,
Pa ra sam Ga te,
Bodhi Swaha.

J-Ant's Story Part 2

J-Ant keeps asking itself whether should give up or not.. Almost all of it Ant friends do not believe on what J-Ant's words. Even though J-Ant said that it won't give up yet no matter what. However, J-Ant feels extremely depressed and siansation. It seems that there is no more perseverance of J-Ant liao. To J-Ant, it hope that the time will stop, and sometimes really don't want to get affected by it.

J-Ant really don't understand quite alot of thing. It's heart is really crying whenever J-Ant think of this situation. To J-Ant, it only wanted to help all those friends. All this thinking is just come naturally from it pure heart, and J-Ant swear that it will not harm anyone for sure. IH-Ant and AL-Ant asked the same question on why bother it so much.. Shi Ji Hai Mei Dao.. Of course, J-Ant understand all this, but it still feel hurting. All this is not J-Ant wants, and yet for most of the time, it just come naturally. J-Ant will keep thinking what is right and what is wrong.. And what is to be done, and what is not to be done.. Should J-Ant give up?

To be truth, J-Ant really will use it happiness to exchange for the believe from it's Ant friends. In addition, J-Ant also willingly to sacrifice it life for the exhchange too.. J-Ant don't want to see it's friends suffer, it rather suffer with them too... After hearing J-Ant thing, AL-Ant said why.. And AL-Ant called J-Ant not to think that or too much...

Sometimes, J-Ant feel that why don't be selfish once in it life time since nobody believe that, there is a SHORTCUT ROAD to the food location which really exist. Then J-Ant might as well keep all this in it heart and just don't share with anyone. And also J-Ant really wanted to be very selfish, Zhi Ji Chi Bao Jiu Hao, why still bother with others... However, J-Ant just couldn't do so, Yu Xing Bu Ren...

Recently, J-Ant chat with another Ant, who is very very very special to J-Ant (called Special-Ant). From the conversation, J-Ant feel that Special-Ant prefer it present life condition, and also won't believe on what J-Ant saying...

J-Ant really just wanted to let all it friends Ant knows that there is a Shortcut Road to find their food, and yet why still bother to go through such a Long way to get their food? The main motive from J-Ant is only to lighten their Xing Ku.... But J-Ant knows that nobody will understand it Ku Xing.... And nobody will believe one...
Should J-Ant give up ma??? Sobsob!!!

No mood to study..

Haven't Sleep as I am still watching TV. The show is on Jing Cha Gu Shi by Chen Long.. Just now I thought I have finished doing my Website on geocities but then got some problem. Justin is helping me editing... I really really grateful to you as most of the time u will help me in my problem.. Thanks again...

Doing my FYP at Irene's hse during in the afternoon time.. About 6 plus then reached home, as we have a chat at Ya Kun.... Wanted to study for the Plant safety, but got headache.. Really no mood to study.. Hai~

No matter what, I must study liao tml... Siansation...

A visit to JYSS

Today went back to my Sec Sch to visit my teachers...I am extremely happy to see them... Chat with both YWlk about my personal things, my emotion & etc... Also with Mr Siva about my studies thing... ["^U^"]

Things to be remember from...
Ywlk: Must Wei Zhi Ji Er Live... Find something that you are interested in & do it for the sake of yourself and not others.

yWlk: Learn to put down and don't take thing so seiously..and also dont blame everything on yourself as it might not be your fault at all.

I know that recently whatever I done, have made my friends around me to get so worry of me, even my teachers.. Miss Wong asked me, " Do you want me to recieve a call from Jx telling about you that you have commit sucide or do anything wrong, and want me to worry of you?" Of Course I reply her NO immediately.. No matter what I also really don't want people to worry of me, as I also will feel very bad one... Really extremely SORRY for those who have been worrying of me...

For whatever sake, I will try to change this Bu Hao De Xi Guan.. Especially must Let go easily, Learn from whatever mistake and move on...

Anyway, Thanks.. You all have motivate me to move on, I will really really try one.. ["^U^"]

Below is my fav yWlk and Me.. ["^U^"]

Dreaming...

Today during Process Control lesson, I did not really listern.. I was thinking of something.. Nevertheless, I came out with a chinese Poem.. It just come from my heart..

It says...
[Jin Tian Zhong Xia Ping Guo Zi, Bi Xu Jiao Shui Shi Fei Da, Tian Tian Pan Wang Da Cheng Zhang, Deng Dai He Shi Cai Jie Quo]

Life is so unpredictable...

Thanks to Irene...

Recently, I am so depressed that I wanted to give up on something... But I think I am going to change my mind le.. Thanks to her.. Irene.. She told me that if she can be able to Bei Xing Jing by monday, then she requested me not to give up... At that time, I only smile after looking at the sms, but didn't really believe it.. Then yesterday, Desmond told me that Irene got called him and asked about how to pronounce those words as the words are in Fang Di Zhi..

Today when we were walking to the library, she say out the Xing Jing to me softly.. Even though she only memorised half of it, I am really touched and grateful to what she did for me.. ["^U^"] Last time, I have talk to her about alot of life De Dao li, but now, Fang Er she use those things that I taught her and An Wei Wo...

During EIC when we were looking at the EQ Journal 2, we read until a part (somewhere there) where is says "Is suicide a solution to all problems? and etc." Then She just use her hand and gentle hit me. I think she is hinting me... Hm.. I don't really like today EIC lesson.. All is about emotional intelligent approach and solution... I know that I don't have high emotional intelligent approach when I need face my personal setbacks in life for most of the time.. Hai~

Anyway, since she has Bei Out the Xing Jing, for her, I will not give up on that thing. One more thing, I also will not be easily give up my life one.. I assure it.. ["^U^"]

Even more down..

Yesterday I am already extremely upset for losting my stuff, then one more Da Ji again.. I am more down. Really feel that Life is so meaningless.. LM Niang, you give me the 2nd test, and I still failed. To be truth, I really can't take it anymore. Whatever the coming test you going to give me, I will won't make it one.. I am still not Li Zhi as alot of thing I can't understand and still can't accept.
I really don't have the mood to do my FYP project at Irene's house. I really feel that I didn't do much. Really sorry to Irene and Desmond... Then I eventually found out the reason why we stop at 7pm for our work.. Thanks for your Xing Yi.. You wanted me to go home early to rest. I appreciate it.
But in the end, I didn't go home after ended of our work. I went to a place where I usually will go when I was very sad. I like the scenery of the place, the noise coming out from insects and the sound from the water... Somemore, the place is quite dark and not many people there.
I just want to be alone, thinking and crying out... Then some of the people there when walking pass me, will look at me... But I just don't care. Later, there was a indian man cycling bypass me. He kept turning back and look at me. I think he is purposely one. This is because when he cycled towards my direction for the 3rd time, he say hi to me. I just ignored him.. And then he still keep looking back.. Then I saw him, cycled to the next bench, on my left, stopped and sat at there.. I don't know what his intention, but I still don't care... This lasted for 20plus mins. This is because when the moment I left, I saw him cycled to away from my direction le... To me, I am not scare at all.. I just feel irritated. I know that if I still don't walk away, he will also stay there...
During this time, I know that my 2 friends and my sis are worrying of me.. But sometimes I can't reply back immediately as my hp battery is low.. Most of the time, when I was down, I just want to be alone, going to that place... I really don't intention to make all of you worry.. Really sorry and Pai Sei ar...
About 12.30am then reach home. When I was at my lift, my mother called me. She asked me where am I and why I still haven't back home. I told her I was at 10th storey le.. Then after my washing up and brushing, I asked my mother why she has not sleep. She said she was waiting for me, meanwhile she played her Hp game, jackpot.
Knowing that she might knows something about me, she kept asking what are the thing happen to me.. I think my sis has say something to her ba... Then I told her that indeed I was very upset of losting my hp keychain.. But then, she seem to know that I still got other problem that trouble me alot. Maybe she really understand me alot. After I told her, the first word from her mouth is Sa De... Silly... She has kept explaining to me and also told me to Da De Qi, Fang De Xia as she think that I have Kan De Tai Zhong... Some of her words didn't get into my head as I still really don't understand why this and that.. Perhaps I should learn to Fang De Xia more...
'Life' is really very Xing Ku... I extremely don't like it......

For Juan, my Best Friend

Juan, Happy 20th Birthday!!! Really sorry that today I can't celebrate with you... Hm.. See you on coming Friday.. Take care and enjoy ar.. All the best to whatever you do... Your study, your relationship with dragon and plus plus... ["^U^"]

Continue with yesterday story....

Yesterday, I was extremely angry of myself. As a result, I hit my both hands onto the floor of the stage at the first level of CS. When I was very unhappy and still very angry, I just wanted to shout out or hit myself. But then I didn't have the chance to shout out, so I have been hit my hands onto hard object for several times...
Then, when I was hitting my both hands onto the floor of the stage, suddenly Apple's hand come out. As a result, I accidentally hit onto her hand.. I know that, that was pain.. so I ask her pain or not, but she say is not.. I am really sorry, Apple... Again, really thanks too.
I know that I shouldn't do all this thing... LM Niang, I know that you give me this Kao Yan, and yet I failed... After studying all those books for 2 months plus, I should be more Li Zhi Yi Dian. But still, I can't overcome this. I have try to Qu Diao Qi Qing Liu Yu, my emotion and yet I still Shi Bai Le.. I am still that emotional...LM Niang, I know that everytime you give me those tests, I always disappoint you.. I am also disappointed of myself too and really hate it too...
My right hand is now still swollened and abit of blue black.. I know is abit pain, but I don't care.. Till now, I am still very upset, siansation.. Alot of why, why and why is still in my head.. Perhaps, I am really Mei You Yong, always can't get through all those Kao Yan Ba..

Hate Myself......

Just came home from Tampines. Today very sway... I was suppose to meet my sis at tampines after my project to have our dinner there. About 7 plus then reached at tampines, then after we have met, we went to the vegetrian stall. So unlucky, the stall is going to close (at about 7.45pm) I was so disappointed as my main purpose to go there is to eat the food there as my sis say that the food there is very nice.. With my upset & extremely sian, with also my stomach is not feeling that well, I wanted to go home then eat. But then we went to a food court there and have our dinner. After that, I wanted to go to Mrt as I wanted to reached home early, but on the way there, my sis suggest to play arcarde. Initially, I insist not to go, but after she has request 2 times, then in the end I agreed.
But sway thing comes, after went to arcarde and play several times of music game, for the last time of playing, I suddenly remember that I forgot to take something.. I remember that I placed the plastic bag (inside include those strings, the hangphone chain, and those I have already made for my teachers) besides (on the right) the music game before I played the last game. I went back to the same spot, and the plastic bag is gone... I was so down and extremely extremely very sad.. Although the thing insides are not very expensive, but the strings belong to Juan one, and somemore, all my effort on making the handphone chain is somehow like wasted.. All my effort gone.. you know......
My sis saw me so anxious about it, and so she went to the reception there and ask if they receive any of the plastic bag. But, the answer is no... Then my sis called my cousin as he is a policeman. Then my cousin suggest her to call the police and made a report... At the meantime, I was very sian half, and wanted to bang myself to wall.. Really hate myself... My sis then went to each floor to check whether the plastic bag will be in the Bin or not, while I remain the the 5th floor. Then I msg to apple and told her about it..
After that, apple come and accompany.. She An Wei Wo alot.. In the meantime, we are waiting for policeman to come.. We waited for about half an hour and so... My cousin also arrived then. After all the checking, and watching the Bi Lu Tv (only the policeman can watch), is was about 12am plus... In the end, the policeman told me that he did not see any people carrying the bag out.. In addition, I still have to make statement as it is required. This take quite a long time.. About 1am then finished... Really wanted to say a million thanks to my cousin, Ah Bee, and also to Apple as they stayed with me till everything has finished...
Apple, really thanks when you be there for me.... And really sorry that let you so late reach home and accompany me for so long.. And Ah Bee Biao Ge, thanks for driving us back and sorry for troubling you...
Me now really sian sian sian....... U might think that those thing is only cost about $30 plus, but for me, is my effort of doing those thing.. I am really quite xin ku to do that... I will spent about 2 hours to complete one hp chain.. and those are really nice... Sometimes, me will do until very late at night... My effort is gone .... Sob sob... I know that you all might not understand.. nobody...
Alot of report have to do, and now happen this thing... I think I won't have a good sleep le.. Just couldn't, knowing that I will think think think of alot of thing.. Xiang Tai Duo Le.. I know.. Can't sleep well liao...
One last thing, I did not Blame my sis... I know that is all my fault... I am just so useless...

J-Ant's Story Part 1

J-Ant is just like other normal ants that will also go out of it house and it foods. One day, when J-Ant is searching for the foods, it found a place where there is plenty of foods.. J-Ant was very happy and so it brought some of the foods back to its home. The next day, J-Ant went back to the same place. To it surprise, there are still alot of foods. It seems like the foods are ETERNAL and FOREVER will be there. J-Ant knows that this is the only road to reach to that place and hence wants to share with other Ants friends. This is because J-Ant knows that for most of the time when looking for foods, it is very xin ku and tired. Furthermore, after searching for many hours, they only can find a bit of foods or if very unluckily, they couldn't find any of it.

When J-Ant is happily telling others about the place, most of it Ant friends don't believe it. Some of them will say that how can this place be present in their world, or other might say that they are satisfied with their present living moment. Only a few of it friends believed it and followed J-Ant to that place. But, J-Ant is still extremely disappointed, upset & moodless. J-Ant just want to lighten their xing ku, don't want them to go such a LONG WAY to search for foods. Knowing that there is a road, a SHORTCUT ROAD and sure can find foods there. But why J-Ant good friends, close friends, and even best friends don't believe it.. J-Ant really don't understand...

J-Ant is extremely happy that one day it brought KW-Ant and IH-Ant to that place. Initally, KW-Ant and IH-Ant don't believe one. Beside, J-Ant also don't why in the end KW-Ant and IH-Ant agreed and accept to go there. Perhaps this is all fated or also can say Shi Ji Dao Le. Or maybe for J-Ant stake then they agree to go. J-Ant really appreciate and grateful to those who believe it. Alot of things can't show or prove to others, unless they willing to been there once to see for themselve. J-Ant really don't know how to let others know that it words is saying the truth. However, J-Ant will not give up hope on them as long as it still alive. This is because J-Ant always have the faith and also strongly believe that one day they will understand and believe its words...believe that the place is really present... J-Ant will NEVER give up.. Jiayou ba, J-Ant... ["^U^"]

KL Trip...

Just came back Home... So Tired... On monday, I was so frustrated as I think I will be late as a result I took a taxi to Krangi. This is bec I have forgot to bring my food stuff on the way, then I have to come back home to take it. And the way I speak to my mother is very not gd.. Sorry ar.. On the first day at KL, we went to the hotel to put our bag, then we went to have our lunch near the hotel. I was so grateful to all my friends that they accompanied me to the vegetrian coffee shop... So touch.. espescially to Alan and Justin.. After that, we went to the Indoor Theme Park at Time Square... All the game is so fun and shock... ["^U^"]
On the following day, we went to the Twin Tower... The place is quite big and there is alot of shop that can shop until you like.. Next, some of us went to back to the Time Square while others remain at there for shopping. Then I went to arcrade to play the music game and the basketball game.. I spent $15 dollar on arcarde..
We realised that the taxi driver there don't have any Dao De.. They charge us is not according to the meter.. As a result, sometimes we have to pay more. About 10.45pm we reached at the malaysia custom. Then I was so PaiSei as I fall down infront of those cars.. Don't know why so sway, as this is my second time fall down.. Luckily, there is no any injuries.. Then About 11.30pm after we left the Singapore Custom, Irene and I took a taxi to Irene's House and stay there for a night. I have sleep well compared to the first night at the hotel..
I total have spent exactly S$100 on this trip.. Hehe.. Anyway, it was quite FUN and enjoyable.. ["^U^"]

Tired...

Today went to pulau ubin with my poly friends.. This is my 3rd time went there.. The first time is with my sec friends, followed by the 2nd time with my fav teacher... Hm.. quite enjoyed, however, got raining.. Somemore, cycling for so long time and yet this my first time that I fall off from the bicycle.. This is bec carrying my bag has made my shoulder very pain, as yesterday I got sunburnt on it.. Then this make me feel so unwell, and also very tired.. Hence, I have no energy when I stopped my bike when I came down from it. Luckily, there is no major injury, just that my buttock was pain.. Thanks to my friends, knowing that my shoulder is pain, they help me carry my bag... :) Indeed, very tired... Somemore, tml will be going to KL with my class for 2 days.. A bit sian to go there... Hopefully it will be fun ba... Lastly, thanks to you ar.. I lost and you win... but next time I will win you one... ["^U^"]

["^U^"].. Hehe...

Using my bro laptop as I can't post anything using my comp.. A bit Sian half...
Today, just feeling quite happy, went to arcarde with my sis.. Began to love that music game.. Purcussion drum.. i think so..
Hm.. Beside, my fav teacher had replied me as i yesterday send her an email on wishing her happy teacher day.. Before she end her sentence, she said to me that you must take care and work up.. Haha.. After reading, for her, i will do my best and work hard.. However, the same old thing I always say.. Jing Li Er Wei Ba... Just do my best... ["^U^"]